Douchebag Daisenso

For some reason, the left side of my jaw has decided to fall back to a state of post-surgery swelling and soreness. In nothing short of an Abysmal Coincidence, this was paired yesterday with one of my only recorded major deadline fuck-ups.

Saddled with an article which I believed to be due by Friday at the earliest, I naturally was planning to never think about it ever, ever until the last possible minute (Microt? Nerd). Much to my surprise and subsequent woe, however, I learned Tuesday afternoon that it was actually due Monday: also known as a day that had already passed.

This wouldn't have been an issue if it wasn't such a bizarrely conceived (by Not Me) 1,400 word assignment. Flash forward to right now, which, depending on the accuracy of this post's timestamp, should be Wednesday at around 8:15 am. Crisis averted thanks in no small part to the White Castle/Jabba's Palace delicacy of jalapeno cheeseburgers and oversized energy drinks provided by a third party establishment. It's funny how I don't mind staying up late working on the script, but throw this shit at me and I need the digestible equivalent of corrosive acid to stay engaged.

It's just too bad for you guys that blogger was being "2 Stubborn 2 Load" when I hit the most delirious point of the night.

Probotecting the Unprobotected

It's nearing the end of October, and I find it hard to believe that there aren't Wii and PS3 demo stands in stores nationwide. This is some real war-front evidence in regards to what is an astonishingly different era of TV-gaming.

I couldn't imagine there not having been N64 stands set up next to Saturn Nights demos in an effort to wow people into what was, at the time, a bursting new potential (half-step) generation. The New Message has been sent through Space Sheriff-quality orbital signals and relayed endlessly like a Princess Leia plea.

It seems game companies can now largely survive the first wave on hype alone. Hell, it works on me to some extent. Why send out demo set-ups if you have guaranteed first shipment sellouts? But even more disconcerting to me is the fact that Sony's machine is still a ghost to the majority of the public as far as tangible truths go, and it doesn't stop people from spending thousands of dollars on preordered slips on eBay.

I guess the long and short of it is that I'd like to play me some of them new TV games in a store. I want to stand in line and wait to try out a new Mario game; grimacing over the shoulder of some kid that's actually the right age to be playing it, waiting for the right timing to chop his collar-bone and cut in line.

Also of import is this self-control reminder that the rest of you can ignore: I will not buy Phantasy Star Universe, I will not buy Phantasy Star Universe, I will not buy Phantasy Star Universe, I will not buy Phantasy Star Universe, I will not buy Phantasy Star Universe, I will not buy Phantasy Star Universe, I will not buy Phantasy Star Universe, I will not buy Phantasy Star Universe.

Get back to work.

Serve and Probotect

I'm understandably fascinated with Probotector, the European version of Konami's Contra series. Not that I've ever played any of these, but what a fucking name.

The covers kick a lot of ass, too.

Grindhouse

New trailer. Haha, Naveen Andrews!



This trailer is just for Robert Rodriguez's half, Planet Terror. I am way too excited for this shit.

Demolishing a Hypothesis

Hypothesis: The Office is a comedy series starring famous black people such as Cedric the Entertainer and Eddie Griffin, and is mostly filled with jokes loosely related to the worlds of BARBERSHOP and UNDERCOVER BROTHER.

Why it Was Shot Down: My dad doesn't think it's funny.

Anyway You Want It

The other day I was messing around with Photoshop on some downtime, and decided to try out a trick I learned from read Gabe from Penny Arcade's art blog. It's the bloom lighting effect he used on a piece of Gears of War artwork.

It turned out to be really easy, but it's still pretty satisfying every time I pick up a new technique on PS.



Of course, it's not perfect, and while it doesn't really fit with the particular drawing, since it's a low-quality bit I drew up in photoshop itself after first getting my tablet, it's good to know!

Monster Lawless Zone

While this will only be of interest to a fraction of you, my review of Ultraman: Season One, Part One just went up on KFCC.

I had to fight the urge to spend the entire review ranting about specific episodes, like one that shares a title with this very blog entry. Regardless of what you think of Ultraman, everyone should check out the set; Netflix it, buy it, whatever. It's a lot of fun and there's a ton of variety, whether you're peepin' it sober or under the haze of the siren's gaze.

Did I just Reading Rainbow my own review here? Seriously, tokusatsu is the future of mankind. If we are to survive, we must watch.

Completely unrelated: I'm pretty amazed at webcomickers that update their strips consistently and are able to stay funny and entertaining. Coming from someone that has attempted on more than one occasion to make some funny-pages, it can be hard to continue coming up with great ideas on a regular basis. After all, Dune Buggy was just the same joke over and over (and yeah, I personally thought it was pretty funny).

While I'm sort of writing all over the place as far as topics go, I've been meaning to mention since January how disappointed I've been with my Garfield desk calendar. Prime offense: on Mondays, the image never shows him being gloomy!

It's a bit rubbish.

Thriller

I'm dying.

Thanks, Brandon!

Ratt Lyrics

A lot of high-profile TV shows are now getting in the habit of splitting their seasons into two parts, some down the middle and others in a more off-center cross-section. What's Lost doing? Aren't they airing six episodes or something, breaking, and then returning later with a non-stop run of the rest of the season?

That's retarded, but I'm sure long-time readers of The Joseph Luster Report feel the same way about this season! The staff writers here, who, contrary to popular belief, are not composed of a swimming pool of manatees and a bobbing pile of idea balls, must have hit a wall when confronted with a sudden lack of comics about sexually deviant homeless men and people that shit mail.

Reader poll: Are Marvel's What If...? comics:

A) Awesome
B) Not awesome